i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
