it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
Randomize
