I skipped work to stalk him.
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
Randomize
