I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Randomize