he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Randomize
