FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
Randomize
