Where are you?
In a non slutty way
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Randomize
