I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
Randomize
