What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
Randomize