So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Randomize
