he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
Use "feeling words"
Yay
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Randomize
