Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
So squirting runs in the family.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
He keeps bees of course he's weird
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
