I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
