And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
