Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
