Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
You know, be my cock's hype man.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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