I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
I didn't shave. On purpose
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
Pooping to opera.
Randomize
