I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
My legs feel like baby dolphins
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
