i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize
