But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
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