One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
