And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
Randomize
