Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
COCAINE IS GR8
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
Randomize
