ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
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