I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
