We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
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