RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
It's blow job season.
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
Randomize
