Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Randomize
