so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
Randomize
