WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Randomize
