Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
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