pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
Randomize
