Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
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