We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
I wish I only lived at night.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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