Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
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