Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
Randomize
