i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
