his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
Randomize
