Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
me + whiskey = a bad person
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
Randomize
