i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
I am midnight drunk by noon
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
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