Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
Randomize
