There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Randomize
