I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
