FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
Randomize
