I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Randomize
