Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
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