Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
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