Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
Randomize
