Fine. I'll sleep in my office
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
