So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
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