You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Randomize
