I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
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