I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
