My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
Randomize
