i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
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