my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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