I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
i think my mom watched the whole time
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
Randomize
