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• (740): View more from Ohio

  my lips still taste like vagina

  (1-740): View more from Ohio

  so you liked breakfast?

  (740): View more from Ohio

  ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead

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• (479): View more from Arkansas

  I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.

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• (413): View more from Massachusetts

  Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.

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• (304): View more from West Virginia

  enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this

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• (910): View more from North Carolina

  I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.

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• (530): View more from California

  There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.

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• (+61): View more from Australia

  You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out

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• (603): View more from New Hampshire

  And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.

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• (609): View more from New Jersey

  Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.

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• (831): View more from California

  Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.

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• (315): View more from New York

  well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people

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• (616): View more from Michigan

  Carver called his mom a milf again

  (1-616): View more from Michigan

  Was it on purpose this time?

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• (909): View more from California

  I got laid two nights in a row

  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  And none for Gretchen Wieners...

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• (253): View more from Washington

  Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.

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• (519): View more from Ontario

  He managed to rip my nipple last night....

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