is your mom at the bar?
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
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