Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
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